I knew this day would come. Blind Pick is like a box of chocolates. This box of chocolates had multiple threats that I was afraid of facing. Nocturne hurts Teemo because Teemo lacks a method of getting outside of his tether range. Vlad can really hurt a Teemo because his sustain is something Teemo is jealous of but can’t have. Darius is the largest threat because Teemo must get into attack range in order to lane against a Darius and if Darius pulls once Teemo dies. I actually started joking with my team and said “$5 says I’m first blood.”
I actually managed to get first blood on Darius as he tried to last hit the wave that I had pushed. Right after that I backed off, afraid of where Nocturne would be. However, my jungler pointed out that he was being counter-jungled at the moment; Nocturne was at our Elder Lizard buff. I bunny-hopped down there to see the little minions resetting. Our poor Rammus was right, Nocturne was taking the jungle, no regrets. However, I found a 200 HP Nocturne taking our Wraiths. Goody! Free red buff for Teemo!
At this point Darius gives up. He sees me with first blood (and second blood) and a red buff. However, it’s shortly after this that I make my first mistake. I push Darius out of lane with red buff. He’s forced to take harass and try to last hit with his Q. I freeze the lane and take a lot of CS that Darius can’t reach. I go back, buy wards and health pots and come back to lane. I ward the river, and leave a couple Easter Eggs down there as well, and walk back to lane. Before I can step out of river bush Darius goes balls to the wall on me. I’m confused because I’m so far ahead that he’s not a threat. Then Nocturne is standing next to me. Level 5 Nocturne. How did Nocturne get next to me, you ask? I have no idea. It’s my mistake, somehow pre-ult Nocturne had managed to stealth into my lane and catch me at the mouth of river. I was standing in the bush so I knew he wasn’t in there. I had a ward at the opening to blue and 10,000 mushrooms in the bush behind. Yet, I knew I was dead.
I have my long walk of shame back to the lane. Now Darius is really going to pay. I abuse Darius so hard that he rages in all-chat and then swaps for mid. I actually suggest the change so they won’t surrender right away. Vlad comes top. I go to auto attack into a Q and another auto attack, but Vlad just pools after my first auto, so he loses 20% of almost his full health pool to his escape spell. As soon as he shows himself again I commit. I know his W is down, I get my ignite on early to stop his initial lifesteal from his Q. I flash to secure the kill and stay with him. He disappears off the screen trying desperately to heal off something, but nothing can save him now. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait fooooooooor iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Killing spree.
I push lane, take turret and steal blue. Now I have complete control. With blue buff I can abuse their jungle and put shrooms all over the place! Now the fun starts!
I literally had a 1v4 fight that I managed to prolong with mushrooms. First it was Nocturne and Soraka. Soraka baited me out and then Nocturne ulted with her vision. I was surrounded by shrooms, so Nocturne was already hurting by the time he got to me. I dropped Soraka and saw that I had enough damage to kill Nocturne once the fear wore off. That means that I have double buffs! I start working my way back up my lane because I’m down to just a few hundred HP. Vlad shows up. He wards the tri-bush that’s up and to the left of blue-side’s blue buff. I’m not in it, but a present is waiting for him in there. He steps on it, bringing him critically low. I don’t know if he has pool, but I wait for him to use it before I take a step in to secure the kill. Then Darius, desperate to exact his revenge, he comes crawling through a minefield of shrooms, losing all of his HP before reaching me. However, I’m equally low after battling the rest of his team. I run up the lane, taking time to put a ward at the mouth of river and right between the two bushes of top lane. Darius just wants to get me in range. If he can land his pull he can press R and kill me. He knows it. I know it. I’m dancing just outside of his reach, so I throw him a bone. I step in towards Darius, dancing on the furthest range of his pull. He tries for it. No dice. I auto attack with poison and red buff and Q him and start to recall. He’s slowed by my buff, I’m outside of his range, and his pull is on cooldown. Sion appears out of the river and finishes off Darius as I finish my recall. Sometimes I just like to rub it in.
After my last purchase I was able to pick off Soraka in top jungle again (I have no idea what she was doing there) and then I heard the lovely sound of “Legendary!” being screamed by the announcer lady. I almost got away, just died to a Nocturne ultimate. I think he finally timed his spell shield to block my blind instead of my DFG. Once they killed me, they promptly surrendered. I received no “Honorable Opponent” credits from the other team that game, but thoroughly enjoyed myself against champions that I thought would give me a lot of trouble.